Angry! Rage! Mad!

Angry Wet Cat

Q: Why do people get so angry and lash out at another person like a mad animal? 

Here’s what happened.  A neighbor of mine is a serious hot head.  She is very quick to anger and cusses more than she breathes.  A while back, she asked me to do something for her and I did it.  (I won’t mention what it was because that’s irrelevant.)  When she got home she sent me a text CUSSING me out because she said that I didn’t do it right and she had to do it over again.  I apologized and explained how I did it but she didn’t care. I wasn’t surprised by her behavior since she has a record of lashing out at neighbors, friends and everyone else (and she will admit it).

A few days later, she called me to ask questions about a completely different topic.  I’m a calm person who’s used to working with crazy people (my family included) so I answered her questions with my calming voice.  Then she brought up the sore subject, “Do you forgive me?” I asked.  She quickly mentioned that there could have been another reason that caused the problem, implying that perhaps I didn’t screw up after all.  Then she changed the subject real fast and that was it.  She did NOT apologize.

Since that time, she has called and visited much less than before but has acted nice.  My question is, what is her problem?  Is she holding a grudge because she thinks that I still screwed up?  Is she too embarrassed to face me because she’s too small to admit it when she’s wrong?  We were starting to become friends before she text-cussed me out but now we are just neighbors.

Can I forgive her for cussing me out and not coming to me to calmly discuss it rather than jump to conclusions? Of course I can and I have. Should I try to be friends with her again? Maybe, maybe not. I think of her more as a patient. She is exactly like so many patients who I’ve worked with over the years. Some are friendly but get mad at the drop of a hat and cuss me up one side and down the other! By the way, many of these personality types either end up as patients in institutions or bodies in morgues. Is it really a mystery that these hot heads grow into having serious health problems? (Damaged arterial walls due to high blood pressure.)

A:  Proverbs 15:18 “A quick-tempered person stirs up dissension, but one who is slow to anger calms a quarrel.”

Ecclesiastes 7:9  “Do not let yourself be quickly provoked, for anger resides in the lap of fools.”

This was therapeutic for me, I feel better now.

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2 comments on “Angry! Rage! Mad!

  1. I often find that people who display anger towards you for no reason are usually projecting their own issues onto you. It doesn’t really have anything to do with you, you probably just happened to be the lucky person who incurred their wrath at the time. Of course you can forgive her because forgiveness has more to do with making you feel better not her, but allowing her to continue this behavior towards you is another subject. People, like children, will often do what they can get away with doing. I’m pretty sure there are (although probably few) people that they do not act this way towards because they simply can’t get away with it. I’ve learned in life that you have to have enough self-respect not to let people treat you like crap because a lot of them will if you let them. Either way, I applaud your efforts in trying to find a sane way to deal with this cranky neighbor 🙂

    • Thank you Confessions Of A Channel and CONGRATS on winning your first award! You are also the first blogger to respond to one of my posts and I thank you for that! I’m also new at this blogging thing and I still have much to do.

      One major thing I’ve learned from working in health care is that when an angry person lashes out it is best to remain calm and say what you have to say without yelling or else it will only make the other person escallate and become worse. You are correct about not letting others treat us like crap and I will say that I’ve not let this neighbor treat me crappy nor do I fear her anger because I know that the next time she looses it (which is every few minutes) she could keel over from a heart attack! Heart disease is common in such personality types.

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